It's just not fair...

So it's been a crazy time around here. Natalie started Kindergarten! She's a little rockstar! She gets off the bus every day, smiling. She gets ON the bus every day - smiling. The favorite part of my day is 12:30 when the bus comes. Michael, Kaytlin and Bella and I all go out to the driveway to wait for her to get dropped off. When the bus comes around the corner, Kaytlin starts jumping up and down screaming "Hey Na-Na! HEY!" like she can hear her! The bus driver, Miss Lynn, is cracking up. Natalie comes down off the bus, Bella kisses her, but proceeds up INTO the bus, giving Miss Lynn the BIGGEST kisses ever, the runs back down, sometimes backflipping because she is SO excited to see Natalie. Then I hug Natalie, tell her hi, ask how her day was, and get the goods out of her backpack. Only once has there been a paper not done. She has quality work and is SO smart - I burst with pride every single day! I'm feeling all right - maybe I've done ok as mom so far.

Michael is SUCH a different kiddo. I love it! He is so non-chalant about everything. Very even-keel and not showing much emotion unless it comes to Kaytlin bugging him - then the whole neighborhood knows he's irritated! THAT bugs me. Oh well, though, right? So yesterday, my father-in-law (Papa) picked him up at school after spending some quality time at Gander Mountain with Kaytlin. When he got home, he was going a million miles an hour and couldn't get the words out fast enough to tell me all about his day! He had colored a paper - very well! All by himself with NO help! (This is a huge feat, by the way). He also made a candle out of a TP roll and painted it. He is SO proud! It was nice to hear him excited and a total chatterbox, stumbling over his words and dancing around. He actually sat and did "homework" with Natalie and I last night. Such a cool feeling as mom, ya know?

Kaytlin continues to crack us up every day. She is potty trained now except for pooping. THAT is making me crazy. She will not go on the potty. I am so sick of poop on my hands! She gets up from her naps dry, and most mornings she's dry too. But the poop is another issue. UGH! She is counting to 10, skipping 5. She's boycotting the ABC's, even when Avery does them almost to taunt her. She is all about the Eency Weency Spider and the hand motions. I'm trying to do little hand plays with her every day, or go on to youtube and watch them. She loves that!

Catering is picking up - that's good because I've missed it a lot. I'm trying to get this dumb house cleaned. Like CLEANED. Like, I'm having a garage sale next week so it HAS to be cleaned kind of clean. So sort/clean/throw away I will!

So this week has really sucked as far as the whole "God's Plan" deal goes. Why is it SO hard to understand WHY it all gets laid out this way? Alyssa and Corey's baby, Brian, died Friday. He was SUCH a fighter his entire 52 days here on Earth and for months before that. I could not BE more blessed and lucky to have had the opportunity to meet that sweet little superman. Such a beautiful baby...

Erin and I went shopping with Alyssa for clothes to wear this weekend for the funeral and other crap that goes along with it all, and as I drove home that night, I was blown away at thinking about how strong Alyssa seemed. Whether she really is THAT strong (which I know she is) or if she's just wearing it really well (which she did as well), she amazes me. I want to say the right thing. i want to bring her comfort, but I just can't. No one can, I don't think. No words exist to bring comfort to a mom who just lost her son. No words exist to make it ok for dad either. Only time, right? Well, even that doesn't help sometimes. My aunt said it best (which since this weekend, I have found out that it was actually my Grandpa who said this originally) - "It doesn't get better, you just get used to it." So very true. And so very depressing too. But real and honest.

This weekend brings a tough time. I'm not looking forward to it - selfishly for me, but mostly for Alyssa and Corey. IT'S JUST NOT FAIR.